goshh..

today is the last day of...erm, 2010?

and i wonder if anyone believe the end of the world in 2012?

read a news report, dat US dunno wad found out that some UFOs/outer space thingy

is flying towards earth and reach to earth in 2012...

some says it's fake..

for me, im not sure myself..

im a christian technically...

but,i cnt help but to fret and scared of 2012...

lol.

i dunno.

kudos to people, who dun rly care if they die, or those who dun believe in wadeva out of the world things..

i dun wan to leave the world yet.. if it was me..

i haven experience many things...

well, those younger den me, are much worse den me i noe,

but,

i wanna earn my own money...

i wanna go some pubs/clubs to at least experience wads adult life is like..

den go out wif frens when we work....

den, most importantly,

i wanna find my own special person..

i wanna fall in love..

i wan to be loved too..

plus, if i cnt find dat person before i die, i'll have alot of regrets somehow..

wow.

suddenly im so pessismistic.. but im on the track of my topic anyways.

and now, it's like, im suffering major hearache every single day.

and i have to push it all in inside of myself..

cant show out, cnt speak out of these heartaches, cnt even acknowledge it..

to make it worse, i have to pretend im ok and as normal..

cheerful too.

i dun wan ppl to deem me as an emo person.

i wan to socialise too. make frens..

but it's getting harder everyday?

will i break down from all these pretendings one fateful day?

i hope not.

cos i still have sch works to worry abt. i dun have the time to juggle these matters along wif sch works.

and im trying to find as much distractions and self comfort to prevent thinking too much.

but it's all epic failure..

gotta get over this soon before i rly break down