well, just got home now.

and just had the urge to blog. my only comfort zone.

i cnt believe im emo now/today.

not those typical emo, but:

these few days in a row i nvr get to slp alot. which made me damn tired and listless.

these few days i had my ahem, my gal's thing too, so it doesnt make the situation any better. (more tired)

and today or thee few days, same old thing, the feelings inside me is still disturbing me.

im scared.

im so prone to these kinda prob..

im so into these kind of prob..

wads wrong wif me?

i wanna handle this matter in a more mature and good way,

but it seems, it's eating off me day by day.

it hurts to hear things dat i dun wan to hear or know, and i have to smile and pretend im cool wif it.

while im burden wif these feelings inside me, i had to still try my best to put on a smile.

while i think these kind of 'love' thing is kinda 'childish' or kiddy in a way,

i still cant get over it myself.

on the way back, i almost teared..

but somehow, im stuck, had the feeling of wanting to cry out wif all my frustration,

but in the end, all i feel is numb.

it hurts alot inside, but somehow, i cnt seem to feel anything..

somehow, im lost.

i cnt seem to trust myself to believe in this feelings, but to believe it's just another crush or going thru teenage phase...

i noe if i get over him, i'll be fine as it is, like my previous crush.

but somehow, i wan to mature myself.

it hurts, but i still wan to stay near him.

what can i do?

im lost and tired.

im so so tired.

i had enuff of this, i wan to distract myself and do well in my sch works..

and not bothering myself wif these kind of matters..

im wondering shud i let go, or shud i continue to stay by his side.