woo. holidays are coming agn.

do i look forward to it?

i dunno..

and im watching the last few epi of boys over flowers..

and i've found my ideal or maybe my most true/inner wish for what i wan in a guy.

it's just too sad it's all just a script/drama..

but one of the character which portrayed what i always wanted.

not rly a perfect boy or relationship,

or just to be more accurate,

it doesnt involved of being in a relationship or being bf/gf at all.

it's just dere.

the feelings is just dere. and the guy just say wif her without saying any mushy things/expectations.

the gal oso din say anything.

well, im not one who likes to say or hear mushy things, once in awhile im fine, but not more den dat.

and i dun wan to have any expectations nor i wan any expectations to be put on me.

haha.

dats wad i wan. but it's so hard to find that guy.

being an unindependent person myself,

i cnt help but to wish for dat.

but still, if it's not the right time,

i'll not find either. and i just dun wan to jump into any kind of love situations.

after seeing many relationshipsof others, i just feel it's kinda bothersome.

just so... burden.

even i wan, but i cnt handle it.

and now, im feeling kinda happy that i let go of my feelings for him.

heh.

not kinda forget it totally, but just let go. like taking it easy. no expectations at all,

but the feelings is still dere alittle.

im soooo glad. im feeling so light ad happy.

im on my way to learn to survive in this life itself, be more mature and noe how to handle things.

im not dere yet, but on the way. (: