It's funny how you can mess me up. -Leona lewis

it's like, dat sentence from her song is damn true alright.

ironic. i noe im not perfect, im not pretty or wad else, but i always insisted on look when it comes down to my partner/bf.

it's like looks are everything to me, i dun mind abt money. character maybe yeah alittle, but looks more.

and now, when looks doesnt matter anymore when i come to love him, i kept forcing myself to see looks again now.

yeah. wads this?

i kept spamming korean idols shinee vids, looking around making myself imagining wad it's like to have a gd looking guy blah blah.

like.. it's gd dat a person focus on true love/character or so on...

and here i am, forcing myself to see looks agn and to think dat HE isnt dat handsome after all..

so ironic and a wierd reasoning.

preventing myself to be hurt, wanna let my heart feel less stinging and less pain,

these are all the reasons, y im sucha guy looker now. wanna see more gd looking guys just to forget HIM. yeah. i rly dunno wad else to do.

he messed me up big time.

every single time i feel better, after awhile,

the heavy and stinging feeling comes back, it's like im burdened with sucha heavy probe.

i could forget him in awhile and could forget him in a long while,

BUT I COULD NVR ERASE HIM with no trace at all from my heart.

im struggling.

i need some break now. i need some help now. i need it like now.

or maybe if fate pities me,

it would either let me miraculously FORGET TOTALLY abt him,

or number two, my prince charming wud just come and save me from all these..

my REAL princ charming/partner... to let me realise all these are just part and parcel of my life..