secondary sch friends..

can i say i envy most ppl's strong bond wif their own old frens..?

i dunno but,

i felt very disappointed or im not even sure whether i do have any true friends.

in simple, i only have a few frens from sec sch and they're my best frens too.

recently, somehow, whenever i wanna hang out or rly get in touch, somehow,

wif me,

i dun see much effort..

whenever i ask them out, of to say, one of them, they always saying not free, and up till now, i nvr meet her.

i feel rly sad.

who can i find?

distance shouldnt be a problem, so long as all of us make the effort,

but,

i rly feel sad.

it's like i cnt find anyone to depend on when im sad, to share wif when im happy or to be wif.

im not saying poly frens are bad and i have no frens in poly,

but somehow,

even in poly, i cnt open up fully to them.

during my common foundation class,

i usedt o have mel, yanyan and junwei.

my clique, i feel happy wif them..

but now, we're seperated, and somehow, we're still in touch but lesser already.

after all,

i wanna have a close gf or any fren dat will always be tgt, like how it used to be when im in sec sch,

well, i have to grow and be independent,

i dunno but somehow, even tho i noe it all,

i just wanna let it off here.

cos im feeling vry disappointed and sad.

the cliques im wif in sec sch, they are very close except me.

they hang out sometimes without me.

and they're fine

sometimes i dun even noe that they have such outings.

after i found out, it's like my heart is rly heavy and disappointed.

but nvm. these are just an ordeal or a phase of life i have to go thru or face.

after rambling or letting off, im feeling all gd, and shall pull myself tgt.

im ok.

i just need to noe myself, that im treating everyone right,

even if im being mistreated or wad,

i noe it myself to have clear conscience in wadeva i do or face.

after all,

i wanna be a true person as much as i can.